The end of an era

I am waxing a little philosophical tonight after a long hard day emotionally and physically. Today was the last time I will visit my mom's farm. I went to meet my sister as we did a final clean-up trip to finish off the removal of what items were not alreaday taken by other members of my family. Needless to say there wasn't much left. All of my mother's personal possessions had already been removed by three members of my family and we have no idea where they have been taken. All that was left was a prety good collection of junk that needed to be disposed of so that the new owners of the farm could take possesion of the property. As we were working on the clean-up, we could hear music playing and chainsaws running as the timber that was so dear to my mother was being cleared out to make room for development. We took a final trip around the property and closed the door on that chapter of our lives. It was certainly a sad day for me as I have now left behind a chapter of my life that has been so central for these past 40 years. But, I can feel at some levels a new day beginning to dawn as I can refocus on the new healthy tree that I am nurturing in my own family. I am so very blessed by a wonderful wife and two beautiful children and I thank God daily for them. I look at my daughter and I talk with her and I realize how very special she is to me. Every day, I see her learning new things and I contnue to be in awe of her. My son as well has blesed me so richly as he smiles and coos and grows and changes more and more each day. I feel very much like Job in many ways. Yes, I have lost much in the past year and a half or so, but I have also been so very blessed. I have a family of my own that gives my life more meaning than I could ever have imagined. I have a church family here in Stonington that provides such wonderful care and support to me in my ministry with them and I have a new church in Wood River which is also a blessing to us already and we have not yet begun our official ministry there. God is very good and I realize that truth more and more with the dawn of each new day.

I realize that there will be difficult days ahead as we wrap up the settlement of my mother's estate and deal with the pain that has come from my family of origin. Seperation is never an easy thing. I also realize that there will be some tears shed as we conclude this chapter of our ministry here in Stonington. But, though it all I am reminded of God's providence and how his hand has guided and protected me throughout my life as I am certain he will do in the years to come.

Thank you, Lord, for all that you are doing in my life. As one chapter closes, I trust you for the future and the life and ministry you have yet before me!

House Update

Well, today we heard from the mortgage broker telling us that the Underwriter on the loan from the new company has approved the loan with a few documentary items needed that should be settled on Monday morning, so it appears possible that we could finally close on the house Next Wednesday the 29th of August... nearly three weeks after we were supposed to close originally. We are certainly praying EARNESTLY that everything goes smoothly with the new lender and we can get this deal closed! There is certainly work to be done and not a lot of time to do it now. It is certainly already a blessing that there was another lender willing to take up the case for us and to come through in a rush to get things approved for us. It will be good to put this chapter behind us and get on with the business of making this house our own... although, much of the work will most likely now have to wait until we are actually living in the house. Hopefully, the painting will go quickly and the rest can be done as time permits in the next year or so... It will at least be more convinient to do it while living there even if it means working around furniture and the like.

I am rambling, so I will get myself to bed, but this is the latest news on the home buying situation.

Enjoying the bouncy seat

Enjoying the bouncy seat
Originally uploaded by jwlohr

Today was Ian's 4 month check-up at the doctor... 15 lbs 8 oz now... 26" long, happy and healthy... he got 4 shots though!!! Hurts me to just think about it. But, he is basically a laid back kid, so he didn't seem to let it bother him too much. He still smiled a lot today. His smile is beoming more pronounced and more frequent in general these days.

Jenny says we are never buying another house!!!

Talked to our realtor today and he said that there was another wrinkle... actually, the same wrinkle yet again even after the sellers provided all of the documentation that the underwriters had requested of them... as of 5 PM today, it appears that we (MAY) still close on the house tomorrow afternoon... It has taken major pressure from several significant people from our Realty company as well as our Mortgage broker to get any movement at all in the underwriters. Now, we still don't know what is happening for certain, but we are loaded up and ready to go tomorrow to close on the house and get some work started on it. I REALLY don't want any more delays as we move in under 4 weeks and we still don't have possesion of the house and there is a lot of work to get it ready to move into! I have flooring for the kitchen as well as paint for the entire house as well as all of the tools and things needed to get started on those and other projects around the house to get it ready to move into. Waiting is the hardest part! We are certainly praying that we can get in there tomorrow to start the long process... But, it is certainly out of our hands. By noon tomorrow, we should know something one way or another. I just hope it is finally settled.

Meanwhile, we still wait to hear. Our realtor's cell phone bill is going to be huge this month, now that I think of it, so is mine!!

rescheduled

Now, we get to wait again. Now they are actually using the word "tentative" with regard to the closing. so it has ben set "tentatively" for next Wednesday, August 22 at 2 PM... We aren't writing it in ink on the calendar yet, but at least we have another date. Hopefully, the underwriters will do their homework before we get delayed again!

All for now...

Later that same day...

Well, it's official. Our closing has been cancelled for tomorrow and put off until a later date. Most likely it will be sometime next week. With the luck we have been having, it will be on a day when I have a ton of other things scheduled and we will have to share the joy by cancelling appointments with other people. Meanwhile, our things are being packed into boxes and and awating the opportunity to move them into our new home... Moving is not all peaches and cream, it seems. The end result will be nice as we get into our new home and a new community, but until then we live in a state of limbo that is aggravated by things like this delay in the closing.

Well, enough beefing about things beyond my control. I guess we will just have to make lemonade!

Further Frustration

We haven't even closed on the new house and already frustration has been evident! In fact, closing the deal is the source of frustration. I am being made aware (yet again) that no matter how well prepared a person tries to be, the actions of others always have the potential to cause problems.

For almost exactly a month, we have had a contract on this house and the underwriters have waited until now (THE DAY BEFORE CLOSING) to decide that they weren't comfortable with the way the title is held. I am learning that there are a lot more "T"s to cross and "I"s to dot in these deals than one would expect.

Now, the underwriters are saying that the person who initially signed the contract had no real right to do so for the sellers. We have already amended the contract to reflect the proper person signing it, but apparently that is not good enough for the underwriters to be satisfied. So it is possible (if not likely) that the closing will have to wait until we can sign a NEW contract reflecting exactly the same thing as the old one and then we can proceed... UGH!!! Meanwhile we have spent a bunch of money and made plans to start work on the house and have the utilities all transferred to our names on Thursday... but we may not close until Friday or even Monday (if then)! I will just be glad when we get the thing closed so that we can get everything back on track!

More later....

Joey Being Joey

joey inside
Originally uploaded by jwlohr

Joey also rocked my world again today and I am only realizing it more now that I have had time to slip into my more reflective mode this evening... How blessed I am to have these two fantastic children in my life! Joey's insatiable curiosity and optimism about her world is contagious and something that I am blessed to be exposed to. Every day is a now milestone as she learns and loves so very well!

The part that really matters!

ian outside 2
Originally uploaded by jwlohr

To think there are those who would try to tell me that there is something more important than this in life! There isn't anything in this world that matters more to me than my children and just taking Ian out in the back yard today and seeing his wonder at the world made me realize what really matters! For all of the pain and misery that has been happening in my family of origin lately over possesions and greed I am truly saddened for my father and two of my sisters because they don't seem to realize that God has gifted us with a family and with relationships that shoud matter so much more than power or money or anything else in life... My two children are the world to me and they matter more than anthing else. With them, I can conquer anything... without them, I am nothing! God has blessed me richly and has totally altered my world in just over two short years. By the way, Ian rolled over yesterday for the first time... Another milestone!

Family, The Farm, and The Future

Yesterday was the auction of my mother's farm... It was incredibly painful to see it sold to the highest bidder. My mother's wishes were to keep that farm in the family and keep it running as a whole cohesive unit. But, things change and people turn out to be something other than you thought they were and the wishes of people who precede us in death are not always followed. As a result, the farm is now gone, it has been sold to multiple buyers and now all that is left are the memories of times spent there enjoying the serenity and beauty of God's creation. I have some wonderful pictures taken down through the years and I have great memories growing up enjoying that farm with family and friends. I suppose that is all I will have now. But, someday, perhaps, it will be enough to have those memories.

Last night was strange for me. I watched the bidding wars and I watched the people with far more money than me take action to buy something for themselves and I was saddened not only by the loss of the farm, but by the further breakdown of my family of origin... and also by the fact that these people who were jockeying for a piece of property have nothing more significant to attach their lives to than a mere ownership of "things". I have been forced by the actions of others to distance myself from most of my family of origin and that is a tragedy. I have felt guilty, at times, over my eagerness to turn my back and walk away from the family. However, the more I witness of the greed and the downright insanity of this group of people, I am feeling less and less guilty and more and more at peace with the inevitable seperation from these people. I will still continue to pray for them to find a relationship with Christ. But, at the same time, I will allow them the space needed to live their own lives and will expect the same in return. We will be moving in a few short weeks, and I still have not decided if I want to give them my forwarding address or not. I sense that doing so would only be more painful down the road... But, I continue to wonder if perhaps I should leave the ball in their court by sharing that information with them... Maybe I will wait a while after we move and continue to see if perhaps God leads me to share that information with them at some later date.

All the while, I wonder, why life has to be so complicated. Were it not for people and relationships with them, life would clearly be more simple. But then again, if we never took risks, we would never know true joy and peace either... Hmm... Another paradox. Seems there are more paradoxes than absolutes in life for me these days.

Once again, I have to say that I value more than words can describe the absolute love I feel for my wife and my children... In the midst of it all. God has blessed me more than I could ever deserve with these who are my reason for living!