Christmas Play

Joey Christmas Play 002
Originally uploaded by jwlohr

Last weekend, we had the christmas program at our church. Joey sang with the other kids in the pageant and Jenny's dad shot this video of it... thought I would post it here as well. Man, she is growing up way too fast!

yes, I know it has been a while

I am well aware that it has been months since I last blogged on here. There simply have been other things taking up my time and energy lately, but I hope to do more blogging in the future. We finally have gotten all of the issues with our house under control. All of the plumbing works now and the flooring is finished in all of the rooms we plan to do at present. As Advent is upon us and we are bearing down on Christmas, we are simply loving the time we have together with the kids. They are both growing and learning so much it is simply amazing. Joey amazes us every single day with the things she says and does and Ian is right there as well, although talking is not his strong point yet. He has a few words that he says, but mostly he runs around the house saying "ball" all day long. The kids have a whole playroom full of toys, but Ian is all about playing with balls of every shape and size. A litle vinyl soccer ball, a whole bucket of little plastic balls and even a couple of my practice golf balls keep him amused for hours. It's cute and his personality is blossoming as he is a really good natured kid and has a great smile just like his sister. The Christmas picture that many of you will be receiving soon will demonstrate that. Well, I appologize for my "blog-deficiency" and will try to do better as time goes on.

Peace and Joy to all,

Joel

The Fabulous Fox

On Monday of this past week, we went to the Fox Theater in St. Louis for Glenn Beck's "The Christmas Sweater" Jenny, had bought tickets for me for our anniversary. It was a beautiful evening and a wonderful way to really get the Christmas Season off to a wonderful start. No matter what a person thinks of Glenn, you just had to love the passion with which he delivered the performance and it was really uplifting to see the play after having read the book. Everyone has issues in their lives that stop them from living life to the fullest. But, there is encouragement to live life deliberately and with passion giving your all to those things that matter most. Family, Friends and Faith are the only things that matter in life and if you can keep those in proper balance, then you are living life as it was intended to be lived! See the show, my friends... and if you can't catch it live, then see the simulcast in a movie theater near you on the 17th of December. It will be worth your time and money!

my goofy daughter

Joey has a way of just cracking us up with her silliness sometimes. This evening after we got home from Vacation Bible School. Ian was in bed and Joey and I were sitting on the love seat in the living room. She invited mommy to sit with us and then proceeded to lay over on Jenny's lap. Then she instructed me to lay on top of her... I layed over on her and she said: "look, we're like a family hamburger" It was strange as she seemed to orchestrate the whole thing for the silly joke. I know others will read this, or hear me tell the story and think how silly it is. But it was one of those moments that just cracks us up... and they happen quite a bit around here. Ian is also developing his own sense of humor and as he is starting to walk now with greater confidence I am sure that clowning around will multiply with him as well.

I still am amazed with my children and love them more each day it seems!

Vacation Wrap-up

We went to Stonington and Decatur for the final few days of our vacation and had a really nice time. Jenny and I took Joey to Sullivan, Illinois to the little theater on the square to see "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" which she really enjoyed. Then we spent a couple of days hanging around with friends in Stonington where I emcee'd the little miss and little mister pageants again this year since I have been doing it for a long time for them. Jenny and I also took part in a "newlywed game" on the platform on Satuerday night and we came away with first prize and the knowledge taht we do know each other pretty well. It all came down to which direction we liked the toilet paper to be hanging on the holder (from the bottom) and what superhero I most related to (Batman).

Finally on Sunday Night Jenny and I went to Springfield where we had planned to see a show and the Muni... but with the weather being touch and go, we opted for the safety of seeing a movie (Get Smart) it was pretty good given our run of luck with movies recently. We also had gotten a hotel room at the Crowne Plaza for a REALLY good price... Hurray for Hotwire.com! It was nice to sleep in for the first time in a very long time. Then it was home to East Alton and getting settled back in here before I started back to work today.

Not a major vacation, but certainly not a bad time of simply relaxing and enjoying family time on somewhat of a budget! (Pictures of most of the events addressed here are on the flickr page)

vacation day 3

Today was a pretty laid back day. We finally decided to head out to St. Louis again for the day. We had read about this Miniature golf course in St. Louis that sounded really nice. We went and found it and played 18 holes. But, it was by far the most dilapidated miniature golf course I have ever seen! The water wasn't running, the carpet was torn in numerous places and the bricks were missing and loose all over the place. On top of all of that it was way over-priced! Joey had fun for a little while. But, even that didn't last too long. We finally gave up and headed back across the river. We went to Cold Stone Creamery for ice cream, so the day wasn't a total bust ;-)

Tomorrow we are heading to Decatur and will be hanging out in our old stomping grounds for a few days. I actually got a really good deal on a hotel in Springfield for one night on hotwire.com. We are staying at one of Springfield's best hotels for $69! Thought we'd take advantage of being with Jenny's folks and leave the kids with them overnight on Sunday and take in the Muni in Springfield and have a "date night" just for ourselves while we are on vacation. Should be fun!

Well, the vacation is progressing, and we are doing some fun things and learning a lot about our new home area.

More to follow.

grant's farm family portrait 2

grant's farm family portrait 2
Originally uploaded by jwlohr

we are on vacation this week... today we went to the Gateway arch and to Grant's farm in St. Louis. Yes, I know it is less than 30 minutes from home. But we thought we could do this on a budget and see what is in our own backyard. It has been fun so far. Yesterday we went to the zoo and shopping a bit. Today, while leaving the arch and walking back to the metrolink station, I wasn't watching where I was going and pushed Joey off of a curb (in her stroller) and skinned up her knee pretty good. Man, did I feel like a jerk (and a horrible father to boot)! I think this is the mist blood she has shed yet in her 3 years of life. She is tough though and keeps telling me that "it'll be fine daddy"!

Asking her what her favorite part of the day was, she said it was going to the top of the arch with daddy... pretty cool!

Life is getting better now that we don't have the rest of the mess of the past two years hanging over our heads... it is great to just hang out with the family and have some fun together.

More good stuff to come!

The day we've been waiting for!

After over 2 years, we finally got Mom's estate closed and can put that ugly chapter of our lives behind us! It certainly didn't go the way mom would have wanted it with my father and one of my sisters hijacking the whole estate and forcing things to get tied up in court. There has been more pain and grief during these past two years than I thought was even possible. It has been like losing mom over and over and over again. And to hear one sister claiming to speak for mom when she didn't even see mom for 10 years before she died, nor could she even come to mom's funeral to say goodbye made me literally sick at times. Mom made her wishes very clear over the years to all of us and we didn't get to carry many of them out ultimately. However, a few of us maintained our sanity while going through this mess and we will make the very best of the legacy that she left to us that cannot be measured with dollar signs. Ultimately that is the only thing that mattered to mom and that is the only thing that matters to God... The rest really doesn't matter to anyone, so it's OK and we move on from here!

I still am not quite sure how all of this makes me feel... but I'll figure that out too!

More later ;-)

Mother's Day

Thinking about mom a fair bit today and I called to check in with my sister only to find that my father and one of my other sisters are still trying to throw up road blocks despite a court order to get them to release property that they have been holding hostage for over two years. Now, I am wondering if we are any closer to settling the estate than we were two years ago. I cannot fathom the greed that these people have been motivated by. I don't even think it is about the property at this point, but is rather about them wanting to cause pain and to have total control over things. I have very little faith in the legal system in this country as a result of this mess that I find it hard to beleive that justice is ever even approximated, let alone carried out fully.

What a mess! We need to go back to court on June 2nd and I doubt that we are any closer then than we have been at any point. Mom would be devastated if she were aware of the mess that this has created. I am only hoping that there is no awareness on her side of eternity of these events as it would only cause her pain. I speculate that this is part of the motivation of my father and my middle sister. They treated mom terribly during her life, so they are still getting digs in now that she is gone as well. Beyond that, the abandonment on the part of my mom's extended family is also frustrating. Many of them seem to be caught up in materialism to the point that they have chosen allegiance with those who are undermining every one of mom's wishes that she had expressed during her life. It just makes me sick to my stomach and apparently some are getting a sense of satisfaction in causing that pain. I was slow to believe anyone that told me that evil was real prior to the past couple of years. So, I guess these things have taught me all too well that evil is VERY real... never again will I doubt that!

I'm rambling, I know, but I can't seem to think straight about it at this point. I just need to focus on all that is right in my life. I do have a wonderful wife and two beautiful children that bring me true joy in greater measure than I deserve. If others choose to focus on other things, there isn't much I can do about that. I need to celebrate what I have and try to ignore the pain that others take pride in inflicting.

One Step Closer!

Today we had yet another court appearance on my Mom's estate and it appears that it may actually be drawing to a close finally. I am starting to realize even more powerfully how very much negative energy this thing has injected into our lives for the past two years. As it seemingly draws to conclusion, I am starting to feel the pressure lift and am giving praise to God for that! I am eager to just have it over and to be able to focus on other far more important things in our lives (like our kids and our home and our church). Another court date on June 2nd should get it all wrapped up and closed and then we can put it in the past. Praise the Lord for that and I do ask that my friends be praying for us as we close this chapter in our lives and move on to a brighter future putting the negativity of this messy thing as far behind us as possible!

2 years and counting...

As of yesterday, my Mom has been gone now for two years and we still have not seen closure on many fronts. I cannot believe that things have drug on for so long with so many bumps in the road. I keep hoping and praying that the estate will be settled soon and every time I think it is going to happen, there is another issue that arises to keep things dragging on longer. It seems that many people in our world are more content with uncertainty and chaos than they are with moving on with life. I have never been that way, so it eludes my understanding to think that there are those who would rather fight over petty things than to simply move on. The painful part for me (which I believe is why some are being so aggressive) is that Mom's life has been reduced by some in the family to what they can "get". Mom was so much more than things and sadly few people seem to recognize that truth. I hope and pray it is all settled soon and ALL of us can focus ourselves on what really matters eternally and learn what lessons we need to learn to move on with our lives.

But, through it all... more than anything... more than the pain I feel from the division of the family... more than all of the legal wrangling... I just miss my Mom!

a full year

Birthday boy 2
Originally uploaded by jwlohr

If Ian was a puppy, we would be able to switch him to regular dog food tomorrow! Actually, it is hard to believe that he will be a year old. Even harder to believe is that Joey is just a couple of weeks away from 3 years old! But, then again, at some levels it seems like we have always had them with us. But, my what a year it has been. I am amazed by the growth that we have seen in both of them. Ian is super close to taking off walking... I am guessing that is the next milestone for him. But, then again, is some ways ther eis a new milestone every single day. We are truly blessed by both of our children. I realize more each day how truly blessed we are.

Life has had more than its share of bumps in the road for me personally in the past couple of years... But the road will smooth out soon and I only pray that Jenny and the kids have not been too terribly hurt by the other issues that have eaten up my time and energy for far too long with regard to my family of origin. Soon, I pray, those issues will be resolved and behind us all forever... and we can get on with the life God has before us!

my buddy

my buddy
Originally uploaded by jwlohr

Hero April 15, 2000 - March 28, 2008

After almost 8 years, my buddy Hero passed away. I went down to the basement as I do every day to take him outside for the day to find him barely hanging on after having been suffering for obviously several hours. I found a wonderful animal hospital in Alton (Pope Animal Hospital) who could see him right away and sadly, the only option we were left with was euthanasia. Sometime during the night, he had suffered a major neurological event and was suffering a great deal. I stayed with him until the very end. Hero was a great friend to me when I was a single guy and adapted well to the addition of a wife and later two children. He was always "up" (sometimes too much;-). But, he enjoyed every day of his life. Just yesterday, he was running and jumping around and barking... Oh, how we will miss that bark.
He was a great dog and we will miss him very much! Joey has already said several times that she loved Hero and misses him... Every night, as I put Joey to bed, she wants me to tell her a "Hero Story" These are stories that I make up as I tell them about a little girl named Joey and her best friend named Hero who go on adventures around the neighborhood rescuing other animals and children in trouble. Tonight, just like all other nights, Joey asked me for a Hero story. So, with tears in my eyes I told her a story about Joey and Hero going on an adventure to save someone's day (a little lost bunny rabbit this time)... She drifted off to sleep with Hero on her mind and in her heart, a place where Hero will remain for all of us as time goes by. Rest in peace my friend!

Justice?

Time for another update on the fiasco with my family of origin and the settling (or not) of my mother's estate. My mom has been gone for nearly two years and only now are we beginning to see some movement on the settling of her estate. Greed has run rampant in my family of origin and the fractures are clear and evident and will most assuredly be permanent. That is the most painful part of this whole ordeal, as I have stated on more than one ocassion. I have had my character assaulted, my childhood possessions held hostage, and have been prohibited from being involved in the cathartic process of even looking at anything that belonged to my mom. There are those who are trying to play nice to my face, but then run to others and join them in their character attacks on me. As a result, I am having a hard time trusting anyone. The very people who should have been expected to pull together to support one another have let their desires for control and "ownership" of things get in the way of what a family should do by definition.

The court today made some nominal progress towards getting things moving again, but I am not terribly optimistic that much will be accomplished. There are some deadlines in place on all of us, but I am not terribly hopeful that they will be honored by all concerned. Up until these past two years, I had believed in the judicial system. At this point, my faith in that system has crumbled. If a person is willing to attack others vigorously enough and has no internal barometer of that which is truly right and wrong, then those are the ones who will "win"... at least in the present. (My personal feeling is that given the current situation and the "best case" outcome is that everyone involved in this one will lose.)

The one thing I do still believe in is a God who is loving and ever faithful towards those who serve him and are intent on a faithful interpretation of his word and his call to us. I also believe that God is the only true source of comfort. People change in response to their own desires. God alone remains constant in his unchanging love for his children. How blessed I am to have a heavenly father who will remain faithful and true. I wish that relity for everyone and perhaps someday it will come to pass. Is justice at the hands of a court system run by and participated in by human beings even capable of understanding true justice? Much less administrating it? I am having my doubts. Is God alone always just in his treatment of people? Of that I have no doubt and in that truth I rest my destiny.

Why?

"Why?" That was the title I gave to the funeral sermon that I delivered yesterday. I can't say as I really answered the question, though. The more I am in ministry, the less I understand about so many things in this world. Why indeed!

I travelled back to Taylorville to do a funeral for the 19 year old daughter of some very dear friends of mine. Katie was killed in a tragic car accident with three other teenagers on Friday of last week. They were good solid decent kids. No drugs, no drinking, solid morals and people of faith... and yet, four young lives were lost without warning. The thing is that with their passing the world lost all of the potential for greatness that existed in them as well.

This accident reminds me (and others I hope) of the broken-ness of the world. Satan really does rule this world whether we believe it or not. As we are 2 weeks into the Lenten season, I am reminded of the temptation of Christ and the fact that even our Lord wasn't immune to the temptations and attacks of Satan. So, why then, should I be surprised that Satan would attack others if he would be so brazen as to attack the creator himself?

As I grieve along with others on the loss of potential and the loss of beauty in this accident, I am reminded of just how very much I yearn for the day when Christ returns to set things right. What an amazing thing to anticipate that day when we live daily in the presence of God in a kingdom where sickness and death and broken-ness are a thing of the past... FOR ETERNITY.

Why? I can't answer that... Who? I've got that figured out! But, then, why are there still people in this world who reject or ignore that hope? Seems that my reflections on the things of the faith generate more questions than answers. Furthermore, why is it after years of study, seminary education, and 15 years of pastoral ministry... I'm back to asking one word questions and still don't have an answer? Aw shucks... Why Not?

Somber Boy

somber boy
Originally uploaded by jwlohr

I just loved Ian's expression in this picture. He laughs and smiles a whole lot more these days, but I still love that little serious face he makes too.

A little melancholy... but hopeful too!

Today would have been my mom's 74th birthday and is the second birthday since her death. With all that has transpired with regard to the crumbling of my family of origin, it makes it all the more painful to endure days like this. Unfortunatley support is neither offered nor expected (or frankly even possible) from some of those one would expect to be there to support us through these things. Still... all in all... The truth of mom's relationship with Christ as well as my own makes it bearable. Knowing full well that one day I will see her again gives me great hope. While it is hard to not be able to call her on the phone and talk with her daily as I did throughout my life. I look forward to the day when I will seeing her again and she will not be burdened with the issues of her own failing health and other challenges that she endured in the last several years of her life. My mom was a great woman and I miss her greatly. But, mom's faith has her in a very good place these days and for that I am grateful. In fact, I celebrate the truth that as of the moment of her death on April 21, 2006 she truly began to live more fully and completely than she ever did in this world. Mom received on April 21st 2006 the reward for a life well lived and I am nothing but happy for her in that truth. Much of the time, for my self, I am less than happy with the loss of my mother and the loss of much of my own past. But, I am thrilled with the gifts that God has given me. I do have a wonderful wife and two of the most amazing children in the world. I have one sister who is there for me and I for her just as we were always. And, how many men feel the way I do about their in-laws? I am blessed to have married VERY well. Not with regard to riches or fame... But with regard to faithfulness and integrity that are far more valuable. I have riches untold that are worth far more than money and fame.

Many people will think that I am merely espousing platitudes to keep myself sane and relatively happy in these challenging days. Such is not the case. I believe this in ways that are increasingly important to me as time passes. As a minister of the Gospel, I have shared these truths with people for years... I have believed these truths for years... But, now I am slowly moving beyond belief to a place where these truths inhabit the very core of who I am and it is to that hope which I cling to above any other.

Well, that is probably enough rambking for tonight. I just had to get some of this out of my mind before I try attempting sleep tonight...

To my mother, Bonnie J. Lohr: Happy 2nd Birthday Mom! You did it right, and I love and respect you for it and I will see you again! (Tiger)

Long time... no update.

That seems to be the theme of my life lately. Lots going on, but no real news. I suppose that isn't a necessarily bad thing though. We have had several visitors from Stonington over the past few days and that is nice to see old friends. The kids are doing very well too and that is a joy to witness. Just a week or so ago we were sitting at the dinner table and Joey was looking off in space apparently deep in thought. Following my mother's policy from years ago, when she would ask me the question when I was a child I asked Joey what she was thinking about... and she said: "I'm thinking about giraffes" Jenny and I both had a hard time supressing the laughter. We had not been talking about animals at all, much less giraffes. But apparently Joey was thinking about them. It was one of those silly little memorable moments that will stick with me for years. Ian has started mimicking us a bit too and it is fun to see that beginning to happen more regularly. He is still a basically somber kid, but his smile originates in his toes when he does smile and that is actually a fair bit of the time I suppose.

The church continues to do well. We have had some slight fluctuations in attendance, but basically for winter, I think we are doing pretty well. I have been thinking through programming ideas with others in the church and I think we have generated some good ideas. We started an entirely new Sunday school class 5 weeks ago for people who were not attending Sunday School previously and we have already had as many as 17 people in the class. Not too bad for just getting started. I think people are engaging in the class really well and seem to be enjoying it as well as learning. Seems like we just got past Christmas and now we are into Lent starting today. The seasons just seem to roll along with nothing I can do to slow them down. "faster as the years go by"...

Well, just wanted to post an update and get somewhat caught up on things that have been happening. There has most certainly been more than just this going on, but I have been either too busy or too lazy to post. Hopefully, I can be more diligent now! I am feeling the need for another zoo trip on the next warm day we have. Plus, I really want to start my "daddy days" with Joey and with Ian as well as I want that time to bond with the kids. There is a new Veggie Tales movie out and I think that would be a great date for Joey and me to go on. Hopefully we can make that happen soon!

catch ya'll later!

Great River Road

Great River Road
Originally uploaded by jwlohr

While there is still some adjusting to do for me living in a new community, I have to say that it is pretty cool to have this kind of beauty literally minutes from our home. I think that this road will get lots of use by me as I sometimes do need to escape the confines of the city to focus more on the things of God and clear my mind to be the best husband, father, and pastor that I can be!

Joey in the Eagle's Nest

Joey in the Eagle's Nest
Originally uploaded by jwlohr

Joey got in the nest too... just for the record. the eagle had moved on before we put our children in the nest..

In in the eagle's nest

In in the eagle's nest
Originally uploaded by jwlohr

We had to "perch" Ian in the eagles nest to show just how big the nest was... or how small Ian was!

Eagle roosting

Eagle roosting
Originally uploaded by jwlohr

We went for a drive on the Great River Road yesterday and did manage to see some of the wintering Bald Eagles. Pretty cool to have these majestic birds living (if only for a time) literally in our back yard.