This picture was actually taken a couple of weeks ago. But, it shows the two most important things in my world in the year past and in the year to come. Just yesterday, Joey was laying in our bed next to Ian and she leaned over and told him... "You're my best friend in the whole wide world"... What parent wouldn't melt at that sentiment. In the year to come, I really am going to try to see the world through my children's eyes. There is so much to wonder about and they worry about so few things. They seem to understand that there is so much more to life than the things that we consume ourselves with as adults... They know they are loved and they want to show love to others and everything else is of little consequence... Ah, to view life in that simple yet profoundly significant way!
So, as I head off to bed on this new year's eve, I realize that I am a very blessed man in more ways than I can count.
Farewell to 2007... you brought me moments of profound joy that raised my hopes for brighter tomorrows... you also brought sadness at times that leaves scars too deep for words.
Tomorrow morning I will wake in a new year... a new year filled with new challenges, new experiences and new opportunities to witness the hand of God at work in my life, in my family and in the lives of other people. God, give me the ability to see this world through your eyes to witness your work in the world in the 12 months to come. God, give me opportunities to BE your hands and your mouth in the world in the 12 months to come. God give me the insight that you have given to my children, the insight that lets me love others simply and completely. As I know already that this is what you have called me to do!
Hello 2008, you are ripe with opportunity for me and for those around me, help us to realize all the potential you have in store for us!
Monday, December 31, 2007
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
snowman?
When the snow doesn't pack very well, you do what you can with it... I came home yesterday from work to see this snowman beside the driveway. Joey was so proud of it and it really was cute. The snow was a dry powdery snow, so it wouldn't pack well enough for a more traditional snowman, they put this one together and I would give it an A+! It is still cool as a father to come home from work to see what your family has done during the day.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
ian bw
Loving the whole Black and White thing. digital photography is awesome since you can get it all from one camera without having to keep changing film. I love this grin on his face! A bit blurry, but it was still worth posting, I think.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Another Job Done!
After 2 1/2 months in our new home, I finally got the garage emptied out enough to get both cars inside... My goal was to do this before the first snow flew and I got it done in time! I still have some re-shuffling to do in order to get in and out of the cars easier. But, this way the cars will be protected from the weather and we will too. What is the use of a garage if you can't really use it? I have read that something like 60% of Americans can't get a car in their garage, so now we are in the 40% who can. Feels good to be able to do that. One of the big perks of having a large basement I suppose... How's that for a totally useless post? :-)
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Laughing at Joey
Ian was laughing out loud at Joey as she blew bubbles in her water... It was amazing how hard he was laughing... Plus, it made for a pretty good picture.
finished product
got the rest of the lights up this afternon thanks to a neighbor with an extention ladder I could borrow...
Friday, November 30, 2007
front of the house
We got a few more decorations put up on the front of the house this evening. Joey's yard deer from last year got dug out of their box again and the wreaths from our wedding look good on the front door. We bought the little tree at wal-mart for $15 and I already had the flood light to light the door and a timer to hook them all up to. Not too bad for just a few bucks (no pun intended) and the house looks a good deal more festive as a result. I planned to put a few lights around the roofline, but time will tell if I can get that done and if the weather cooperates. They are calling for freezing rain this weekend, so it may or may not actually happen.... But so far, so good! (Thanks for the delivery, Terry and Sharon!)
Monday, November 26, 2007
Estate news (or not)
This morning was another hearing on the status of my Mom's estate. I didn't even bother to go this time. I did have some commitments here in Wood RIver at the church and nothing ever seems to happen at these things anyway. After I got the word regarding the hearing, I was not dissappointed. As I suspected, no progress was made other than approving more bills being paid. Hopefully, we will see some movement in time so this whole thing can be wrapped up... I told my sister again today what I have been saying for a far too long now... All I want for CHristmas is this estate settled so we can get on with our lives. The family of origin has already crumbled and only after we are able to close out this current fiasco can we ever get back to some sort of new normal. Nobody seems to get this, but the best we can hope for is to find a new normal and learn to live with it. So, I cannot understand the reason for the constant delay tactics and pettiness. Enough already... Well, it was enough already a long time ago. Mom has been gone for 19 months now and we are still hung up in court over the most ridiculous little issues. This could have... no SHOULD HAVE been over months ago. And sadly, the vast majority of people don't even seem to realize that mom is even gone, just worrying about what they can glean for themselves out of the mess that is left. Is it just? no... but to have it over would be enough for me!
Hop on pop!
I was laying on the floor tonight playing with the kids and resting my back as well when I picked Ian up and then Joey joined us for a fun filled round of Hop-on-Pop... Good times! (at least for the kids)!
Christmas tree
We decorated the Christmas tree last night and both of the kids were there for the event. We only really got pictures of Joey helping as Ian is still a bit young to help hang ornaments. But it is still cool to see both of their responses to the tree and to the events of the season. Joey is starting to figure out that the season is about the birth of Christ... But there is a definite strong interest in Santa Claus as well ;-) What a blessing they both are!
Friday, November 23, 2007
The day after thanksgiving
Instead of going shopping today, we stayed home and cooked all day long. Jenny's family has their annual family Christmas gathering on the Saturday following thanksgiving each year, so we are planning on going to that tomorrow and there was food to get ready to take with us for that. We also got a picture taken of the kids for our Christmas cards this year and had that sent off for processing. Other than that, it was a low-key day. Still seems strange not to be going to see my mother on Thanksgiving, but things do change and there are new traditions being forged to make the holidays meaningful. We had a fantastic day here with Jenny's folks and my sister coming to our home and had the whole spread with turkey and all the trimmings. The kids had a good day and we simply enjoyed the relaxed atmosphere without all of the stress that used to accompany holiday gatherings for me. Sort of a nice change of pace and something that I am looking forward to for manny years to come. It is nice to simply enjoy the spirit of thanksgiving without worrying about who is going to say what and who is going to try to read beetween the lines. Not a bad way to live life I would say!
Still feels a little strange to be in new community and a new home this year. I talked with a young woman from Stonington today whose wedding I am going back to Stonington to perform in December. I am looking forward to that chance to see the Stonington folks and enjoy being back with them for a couple of days next month. WIll feel like old times again. I was thinking tonight as I ran to Wal-Mart for a couple of things about how this all feels a little bit like we are visiting a new town still. I wonder when it will feel like this is "our" town. I am sure it will eventually, but after so many years in one place, it is going to take a while to get used to new environs again I suppose.
I klnow that I have rambled on about how all of the change is hard to take and I don't want to imply for one minute that we don't simply adore the people here in Wood River. Because we do think the world of them and we have been awed by the love they have shown to us. We look forward to many years of ministry with them and think they are the cream of the crop. If we didn't think they were pretty good folks to begin with, we never would have come to the Wood River church. It would obviously have been much easier to stay put in Stonington, but it was clear that God was opening doors for us in this corner of the world, so we responded and are looking forward to great things from this church and community! Attendance has been steadily growing at the church and we are praying that this continues for many years to come. Not for the sake of having a larger church, but for the sake of having a larger group of fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ to do his work in our communities! As I look at it, there really is much to be thankful for this year and the list would get quite long if I actually started putting pen to paper to list all of these things!
Still feels a little strange to be in new community and a new home this year. I talked with a young woman from Stonington today whose wedding I am going back to Stonington to perform in December. I am looking forward to that chance to see the Stonington folks and enjoy being back with them for a couple of days next month. WIll feel like old times again. I was thinking tonight as I ran to Wal-Mart for a couple of things about how this all feels a little bit like we are visiting a new town still. I wonder when it will feel like this is "our" town. I am sure it will eventually, but after so many years in one place, it is going to take a while to get used to new environs again I suppose.
I klnow that I have rambled on about how all of the change is hard to take and I don't want to imply for one minute that we don't simply adore the people here in Wood River. Because we do think the world of them and we have been awed by the love they have shown to us. We look forward to many years of ministry with them and think they are the cream of the crop. If we didn't think they were pretty good folks to begin with, we never would have come to the Wood River church. It would obviously have been much easier to stay put in Stonington, but it was clear that God was opening doors for us in this corner of the world, so we responded and are looking forward to great things from this church and community! Attendance has been steadily growing at the church and we are praying that this continues for many years to come. Not for the sake of having a larger church, but for the sake of having a larger group of fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ to do his work in our communities! As I look at it, there really is much to be thankful for this year and the list would get quite long if I actually started putting pen to paper to list all of these things!
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Between the "Now" and the "Not-Yet"
Greater theological minds than mine have come to this understanding. We live our entire lives as disciples of Jesus Christ hanging in the balance between what we presently live with in this broken world and our yearning for the Kingdom yet to come. I do believe that Christ's kingdom is at one and the same time a present reality and a future promise. However, forces of evil do permeate much of our world. While we have the ultimate hope in the Kingdom that is yet to come, we certainly gain mini-glimpses of the Kingdom in our daily lives if we have eyes that are open to it.
Lately, I have come to realize that this concept of waiting for the "not-yet" is not merely something that applies solely to our eternal hope in Christ. Rather, it is something that is fairly cyclical in nature. We start practicing for this understanding in our earliest days of childhood. Watching Joey has reminded me that patience is learned (or more often NOT learned) by having to wait for things that we want to happen. Joey, like all children I know, is fairly determined to get what she wants and has a difficult time understanding when mommy or daddy says, "not yet" or asks her to wait. I am sure she will eventually grasp this lesson, but until then she lives in that moment between the present and the future reward for her patience.
In 41 years of life I have also been faced with numerous experiences of this constant tension between the now and the not-yet. Waiting to find the right avenue of service for Christ... Waiting to find the right woman to marry... waiting to find the right house to make our home... waiting... waiting... waiting... How much of our life is just a cycle of waiting for things to move along. So many times in my life, I have felt like I am in a "holding pattern" of sorts, just waiting to land. Or to carry that air travel analogy a bit further, more accurately, it seems that much of my life is spent sitting on the tarmac waiting for clearance from the tower to take off. Until then I sit with my engines idling.... knowing that above the cloud deck blue skys are there to be enjoyed. Until then, I keep my engines tuned up and turned on just waiting for the tower to speak the word.
On this Thanksgiving eve, I am finding things to be thankful for... but I know that there are even brighter days coming, both in the short term and for eternity. I am learning again that there is always a part of me that is torn between the now and the not yet... I yearn for the day when the "not yet" becomes the "now".
Lately, I have come to realize that this concept of waiting for the "not-yet" is not merely something that applies solely to our eternal hope in Christ. Rather, it is something that is fairly cyclical in nature. We start practicing for this understanding in our earliest days of childhood. Watching Joey has reminded me that patience is learned (or more often NOT learned) by having to wait for things that we want to happen. Joey, like all children I know, is fairly determined to get what she wants and has a difficult time understanding when mommy or daddy says, "not yet" or asks her to wait. I am sure she will eventually grasp this lesson, but until then she lives in that moment between the present and the future reward for her patience.
In 41 years of life I have also been faced with numerous experiences of this constant tension between the now and the not-yet. Waiting to find the right avenue of service for Christ... Waiting to find the right woman to marry... waiting to find the right house to make our home... waiting... waiting... waiting... How much of our life is just a cycle of waiting for things to move along. So many times in my life, I have felt like I am in a "holding pattern" of sorts, just waiting to land. Or to carry that air travel analogy a bit further, more accurately, it seems that much of my life is spent sitting on the tarmac waiting for clearance from the tower to take off. Until then I sit with my engines idling.... knowing that above the cloud deck blue skys are there to be enjoyed. Until then, I keep my engines tuned up and turned on just waiting for the tower to speak the word.
On this Thanksgiving eve, I am finding things to be thankful for... but I know that there are even brighter days coming, both in the short term and for eternity. I am learning again that there is always a part of me that is torn between the now and the not yet... I yearn for the day when the "not yet" becomes the "now".
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
more on the farm
Got a phone call on Saturday from the one cousin who still is in touch with me to let me know that the farmhouse in Butler has been torn down. Of course, I knew that it was likely that new owners would probably do that, it is still hard to think that the home that I spent so much time in as a child with my grandparents living there and then as an adult with my mother living there is gone forever now. THe timber that I used to hunt in has also been pretty radically altered as the man who purchased it is buldozing a large number of trees to make room for building sites rather than using it for the purpose of hunting and recreation that we used it for throughout my life. It is just hard to sit back and know that among everthing else that has changed, those things as well will never be the same... Life does bring change. Not all change is good. However, we have no choice but to deal with it as in so much of life!
at the zoo
We've taken Joey's picture by this sculpture at the zoo several times to watch her grow. I will have to dig out those older pictures and put them in a series to see how much she has grown. I do know the first time we went, she was barely sitting up on her own!
Monday, November 19, 2007
finished with the reconstruction!
That went faster than I thought it would... things should be up and running now!
Blog reconstruction
I am having to reconstruct my blog from scratch after a snafu with some pictures not getting accross the great divide between flickr and the blogger site. Luckily I was able to save a copy of things on my hard drive. Security attemmpts on my part messed the whole thing up! Hopefully, now it will work better and look better!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Raking Leaves
Joey and Ian "helped" with the leaf raking project in the front yard yesterday... Jenny took some great pictures of them in the leaves. I will get them up and open for public display sometime in the next day or two... until then, I think this one is pretty good!
Friday, October 19, 2007
laughing ian
Joey has this thing where she shakes her head and then looks at Ian and he just literally cracks up at her. I loved the expression on his face in this picture. These kids truly love each other and it is a wonderful gift to us as parents to know that they do love each other... at least for now... when they are teenagers, that may all change ;-)
the latest gourd
Joey and Mommy have been doing this gourd project for several days now. Joey just loves doing it and they do turn out pretty cute. We are going to have a whole family of gourds soon... heck, a whole city of gourd people soon! At less than two dollars for a whoile bag of gourds at Wal-Mart and sticks and leaves and acorns from the yards in our neighborhood, it makes a very fun bonding time project for Jenny and Joey and Joey gets a real kick out of it!
Thursday, October 18, 2007
At the pumpkin patch
Took the kids to the pumpkin patch last weekend... They seemd to have a good time playing around there (well at least Joey did, Ian was more or less along for the ride). But it was fun for us as well hanging out with the kids and enjoying the time in the sun with them. I just thought this picture was priceless and thought I would share it!
The rumors of my demise are greatly exaggerated...
Today I received word that there has been a rumor being spread from my "loving family of origin" that I was "run out of Stonington and that my family doesn't know where I am"... My response was pretty much to laugh about it initially. Strange how I have had a couple of people from the family drop past my new home who seem to have had no problem finding it and I have gotten a note from another family member with my correct mailing address on it. Seems like that story doesn't hold water very well.
I made a phone call to the most recent person to perpetuate the rumor today and asked him to check his facts out before he perpetuates slanderous remarks in the future or attacks anyone's character without knowing his facts. I assured him that there are AT LEAST two sides to every story and he should be very careful before he states anything as fact without knowing the truth. In fact, I think the folks in Stonington who have known me for so long would be pretty surprised and perhaps even a bit angry to think that anyone has been characterizing them as the type of people who would "run someone out of town". Such is definitely NOT the case... after 11+ years with the folks at the Old Stonington Baptist Church and in the Stonington community, I would trust any of them with my very life and I believe that many of them would do the same. They are good people whom I have wonderful memories of being with and I know that the relationships built there will last a lifetime for me and for them as well. Seems like those who have no character are intent on trying to tear others character apart... My response to that: "Have fun trying... you've got to have credibility in order to be successful at that game!" Good Luck!
Enough for now... Just thought that was an interesting bit of news today... I have neither the time, nor the interest in stooping to that level. It just reminds me of the fact that I have people who love me for me without regard for what I can do for them... How blessed am I?!!!
Oh and for the record, I am not lost, nor have I fallen off of the planet and no, I was not run out of Stonington. I am, in fact, returning there this weekend to share some memories, some laughter, and some pork chops with my friends there!
I made a phone call to the most recent person to perpetuate the rumor today and asked him to check his facts out before he perpetuates slanderous remarks in the future or attacks anyone's character without knowing his facts. I assured him that there are AT LEAST two sides to every story and he should be very careful before he states anything as fact without knowing the truth. In fact, I think the folks in Stonington who have known me for so long would be pretty surprised and perhaps even a bit angry to think that anyone has been characterizing them as the type of people who would "run someone out of town". Such is definitely NOT the case... after 11+ years with the folks at the Old Stonington Baptist Church and in the Stonington community, I would trust any of them with my very life and I believe that many of them would do the same. They are good people whom I have wonderful memories of being with and I know that the relationships built there will last a lifetime for me and for them as well. Seems like those who have no character are intent on trying to tear others character apart... My response to that: "Have fun trying... you've got to have credibility in order to be successful at that game!" Good Luck!
Enough for now... Just thought that was an interesting bit of news today... I have neither the time, nor the interest in stooping to that level. It just reminds me of the fact that I have people who love me for me without regard for what I can do for them... How blessed am I?!!!
Oh and for the record, I am not lost, nor have I fallen off of the planet and no, I was not run out of Stonington. I am, in fact, returning there this weekend to share some memories, some laughter, and some pork chops with my friends there!
Monday, October 1, 2007
Birthday week
I don't know how it happened, but another year has swiftly flown past me. I will turn 41 in less than a week! Hard to believe it... But, my life today is good. Jenny and the kids give my life meaning and my job keeps me fulfilled as well. God has blessed me even though the past year and a half or so has brought plenty of pain as well. We are weathering the storms of life and are keeping each other strong. Jenny is growing as a mother and the kids are doing great as well. Life is just plain good and it is filled to overflowing with joy if I will but take the time to recognize it! That is the struggle for me: to be sure to take the time to look and see how full my life is and how very blessd I am.
More to come I am sure as things continue to move along in life and in ministry!
More to come I am sure as things continue to move along in life and in ministry!
Monday, September 24, 2007
the sanctuary
just what it says. I had a meeting in my office today with a family about a funeral that I am doing this Thursday and took my camera to take a few pictures of the church while I was waiting for them... It is a beautiful church building and is in pretty good repair for the most part.
Church building
here is a shot that I took quickly of the church building of First Baptist Church Wood River. I was killing a little time around the building waiting for some people to arrive this evening and thought I would take a few pictures while I waited. The office is becoming pretty comfortable to me now... plus I have an extremely efficient secretary doing the frontline work with me. That makes my job so much easier!
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Moving On...
Well, a lot of ground and a lot of activity has been covered since I last blogged. We are now getting settled in our new home and in our new church. We moved on Monday of this past week and I was in the office on Tuesday. We are learning lots about our new community and our new home. Still working the smaller issues out with the house. but two full days have passed without me having to do any repair work. I did put some additional shelving in the pantry yesterday and it is much more functional now. I managed to get the washer and dryer both running without any further breakdowns. turns out the leak that we thought was coming from the washing machine was actually coming from the water supply line... another turn of the wrench and it was working great. I cleaned the contacts on the switch in the dryer and it worked fine as well. Got the phone line run for the DSL and got a water leak stopped in the hall bathroom drain... Also got some more unpacking done as well as doing 4 mornings in the office a sermon completed and some visits as well this week... Yeah, it has been a full week. But a good one none the less! It is good to have some activities to keep my mind occupied and to see some good things in life instead of the bad stuff. God is very good and has lead us well thus far... I only hope we will be found faithful as well!
Friday, September 7, 2007
what a week!
The president of the seminary when I was graduating told me there would be weeks like this at the begining and at the end of pastorates. With less than two weeks left until I conclude my ministry at the Old Stonington Baptist Church, this week has been no small task. Along with the emotional roller coaster of saying farewell to my present church family, there is the stress of working on the new house to get it ready for moving day (this stress is fading as I saw the progress today and am feeling more confident that it will all get finished). And on top of it all, I have had two funerals this week! I am glad that funerals are not stressors for me too much other than the time commitment. I am only hoping now that my sermons for the next two Sundays flow as easily as these fuenrals have. There are some pretty important things I would like to get across in these final two sermons here at Old Stonington. And, I would like to give them some of my best work on thee sermons as they deserve good stuff!
Well, all in all, things are coming together for us rather well and Jenny has been keeping the home fires burning as I ahve been running around doing my job and getting things done at the house. She is also becoming a master-packer in boxing up our lives to move it all to East Alton... I love that woman more than anything else in the world!
Well, all in all, things are coming together for us rather well and Jenny has been keeping the home fires burning as I ahve been running around doing my job and getting things done at the house. She is also becoming a master-packer in boxing up our lives to move it all to East Alton... I love that woman more than anything else in the world!
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
mailbox
we put up a new mailbox... there had never been one in front of the house before... And here we are adding the house number to the post... we'll do something more attractive and original later. But for now, the 49 cent numbers from Wal-Mart will have to do.
kitchen
We aren't finished yet... but with immense amounts of help from family, we have the painting all donea dn the old nasty carpet removed.... The flooring is all that is left to make this kitchen ovehaul complete. and my Father-In-Law is painting like crazy on the house even as I write this post!
Kitchen before we started
this is what it says it is... peeling wallpaper that made you dizzy to look at the striped pattern and outdated cabinets and hardware... And CARPET on the kitchen floor that was well... just nasty!
Saturday, September 1, 2007
updating some news
you know how you just occasionally have to grab some time, while you have the time to do something? Well, such is life for me right now as it will probably be for at least a little while...
We finally closed on the house on Wednesday and a day and a half later... the plumbig was all functional! We actually slept on the floor in our new home the first night that we had the keys and it was pretty cool... Jenny and I stayed up until about 2 am putting new tile on the floor in one of the bathrooms and the improvement was highly noticable. I then tackled the leaking plumbing. We finally got all of the water systems functioning at full capacity now and Jenny's parents have invested more time in the hosue so far than Jenny and I have. After spending copious amounts of time stripping wall paper with them, we left them alone at the house and they managed to get the entire kitchen painted and from the pictures they shared with us, it looks WONDERFUL!!! Once that is done, all we have left is flooring in the kitchen and paint in the rest of the house. Most of the other little bugs have been worked out and we should be good to go for our move on September 17th... That is coming down the pike QUICKLY! Well, all for now, I still have a job to do here in Stonington as well!
We finally closed on the house on Wednesday and a day and a half later... the plumbig was all functional! We actually slept on the floor in our new home the first night that we had the keys and it was pretty cool... Jenny and I stayed up until about 2 am putting new tile on the floor in one of the bathrooms and the improvement was highly noticable. I then tackled the leaking plumbing. We finally got all of the water systems functioning at full capacity now and Jenny's parents have invested more time in the hosue so far than Jenny and I have. After spending copious amounts of time stripping wall paper with them, we left them alone at the house and they managed to get the entire kitchen painted and from the pictures they shared with us, it looks WONDERFUL!!! Once that is done, all we have left is flooring in the kitchen and paint in the rest of the house. Most of the other little bugs have been worked out and we should be good to go for our move on September 17th... That is coming down the pike QUICKLY! Well, all for now, I still have a job to do here in Stonington as well!
Saturday, August 25, 2007
The end of an era
I am waxing a little philosophical tonight after a long hard day emotionally and physically. Today was the last time I will visit my mom's farm. I went to meet my sister as we did a final clean-up trip to finish off the removal of what items were not alreaday taken by other members of my family. Needless to say there wasn't much left. All of my mother's personal possessions had already been removed by three members of my family and we have no idea where they have been taken. All that was left was a prety good collection of junk that needed to be disposed of so that the new owners of the farm could take possesion of the property. As we were working on the clean-up, we could hear music playing and chainsaws running as the timber that was so dear to my mother was being cleared out to make room for development. We took a final trip around the property and closed the door on that chapter of our lives. It was certainly a sad day for me as I have now left behind a chapter of my life that has been so central for these past 40 years. But, I can feel at some levels a new day beginning to dawn as I can refocus on the new healthy tree that I am nurturing in my own family. I am so very blessed by a wonderful wife and two beautiful children and I thank God daily for them. I look at my daughter and I talk with her and I realize how very special she is to me. Every day, I see her learning new things and I contnue to be in awe of her. My son as well has blesed me so richly as he smiles and coos and grows and changes more and more each day. I feel very much like Job in many ways. Yes, I have lost much in the past year and a half or so, but I have also been so very blessed. I have a family of my own that gives my life more meaning than I could ever have imagined. I have a church family here in Stonington that provides such wonderful care and support to me in my ministry with them and I have a new church in Wood River which is also a blessing to us already and we have not yet begun our official ministry there. God is very good and I realize that truth more and more with the dawn of each new day.
I realize that there will be difficult days ahead as we wrap up the settlement of my mother's estate and deal with the pain that has come from my family of origin. Seperation is never an easy thing. I also realize that there will be some tears shed as we conclude this chapter of our ministry here in Stonington. But, though it all I am reminded of God's providence and how his hand has guided and protected me throughout my life as I am certain he will do in the years to come.
Thank you, Lord, for all that you are doing in my life. As one chapter closes, I trust you for the future and the life and ministry you have yet before me!
I realize that there will be difficult days ahead as we wrap up the settlement of my mother's estate and deal with the pain that has come from my family of origin. Seperation is never an easy thing. I also realize that there will be some tears shed as we conclude this chapter of our ministry here in Stonington. But, though it all I am reminded of God's providence and how his hand has guided and protected me throughout my life as I am certain he will do in the years to come.
Thank you, Lord, for all that you are doing in my life. As one chapter closes, I trust you for the future and the life and ministry you have yet before me!
Friday, August 24, 2007
House Update
Well, today we heard from the mortgage broker telling us that the Underwriter on the loan from the new company has approved the loan with a few documentary items needed that should be settled on Monday morning, so it appears possible that we could finally close on the house Next Wednesday the 29th of August... nearly three weeks after we were supposed to close originally. We are certainly praying EARNESTLY that everything goes smoothly with the new lender and we can get this deal closed! There is certainly work to be done and not a lot of time to do it now. It is certainly already a blessing that there was another lender willing to take up the case for us and to come through in a rush to get things approved for us. It will be good to put this chapter behind us and get on with the business of making this house our own... although, much of the work will most likely now have to wait until we are actually living in the house. Hopefully, the painting will go quickly and the rest can be done as time permits in the next year or so... It will at least be more convinient to do it while living there even if it means working around furniture and the like.
I am rambling, so I will get myself to bed, but this is the latest news on the home buying situation.
I am rambling, so I will get myself to bed, but this is the latest news on the home buying situation.
Enjoying the bouncy seat
Today was Ian's 4 month check-up at the doctor... 15 lbs 8 oz now... 26" long, happy and healthy... he got 4 shots though!!! Hurts me to just think about it. But, he is basically a laid back kid, so he didn't seem to let it bother him too much. He still smiled a lot today. His smile is beoming more pronounced and more frequent in general these days.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Jenny says we are never buying another house!!!
Talked to our realtor today and he said that there was another wrinkle... actually, the same wrinkle yet again even after the sellers provided all of the documentation that the underwriters had requested of them... as of 5 PM today, it appears that we (MAY) still close on the house tomorrow afternoon... It has taken major pressure from several significant people from our Realty company as well as our Mortgage broker to get any movement at all in the underwriters. Now, we still don't know what is happening for certain, but we are loaded up and ready to go tomorrow to close on the house and get some work started on it. I REALLY don't want any more delays as we move in under 4 weeks and we still don't have possesion of the house and there is a lot of work to get it ready to move into! I have flooring for the kitchen as well as paint for the entire house as well as all of the tools and things needed to get started on those and other projects around the house to get it ready to move into. Waiting is the hardest part! We are certainly praying that we can get in there tomorrow to start the long process... But, it is certainly out of our hands. By noon tomorrow, we should know something one way or another. I just hope it is finally settled.
Meanwhile, we still wait to hear. Our realtor's cell phone bill is going to be huge this month, now that I think of it, so is mine!!
Meanwhile, we still wait to hear. Our realtor's cell phone bill is going to be huge this month, now that I think of it, so is mine!!
Thursday, August 16, 2007
rescheduled
Now, we get to wait again. Now they are actually using the word "tentative" with regard to the closing. so it has ben set "tentatively" for next Wednesday, August 22 at 2 PM... We aren't writing it in ink on the calendar yet, but at least we have another date. Hopefully, the underwriters will do their homework before we get delayed again!
All for now...
All for now...
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Later that same day...
Well, it's official. Our closing has been cancelled for tomorrow and put off until a later date. Most likely it will be sometime next week. With the luck we have been having, it will be on a day when I have a ton of other things scheduled and we will have to share the joy by cancelling appointments with other people. Meanwhile, our things are being packed into boxes and and awating the opportunity to move them into our new home... Moving is not all peaches and cream, it seems. The end result will be nice as we get into our new home and a new community, but until then we live in a state of limbo that is aggravated by things like this delay in the closing.
Well, enough beefing about things beyond my control. I guess we will just have to make lemonade!
Well, enough beefing about things beyond my control. I guess we will just have to make lemonade!
Further Frustration
We haven't even closed on the new house and already frustration has been evident! In fact, closing the deal is the source of frustration. I am being made aware (yet again) that no matter how well prepared a person tries to be, the actions of others always have the potential to cause problems.
For almost exactly a month, we have had a contract on this house and the underwriters have waited until now (THE DAY BEFORE CLOSING) to decide that they weren't comfortable with the way the title is held. I am learning that there are a lot more "T"s to cross and "I"s to dot in these deals than one would expect.
Now, the underwriters are saying that the person who initially signed the contract had no real right to do so for the sellers. We have already amended the contract to reflect the proper person signing it, but apparently that is not good enough for the underwriters to be satisfied. So it is possible (if not likely) that the closing will have to wait until we can sign a NEW contract reflecting exactly the same thing as the old one and then we can proceed... UGH!!! Meanwhile we have spent a bunch of money and made plans to start work on the house and have the utilities all transferred to our names on Thursday... but we may not close until Friday or even Monday (if then)! I will just be glad when we get the thing closed so that we can get everything back on track!
More later....
For almost exactly a month, we have had a contract on this house and the underwriters have waited until now (THE DAY BEFORE CLOSING) to decide that they weren't comfortable with the way the title is held. I am learning that there are a lot more "T"s to cross and "I"s to dot in these deals than one would expect.
Now, the underwriters are saying that the person who initially signed the contract had no real right to do so for the sellers. We have already amended the contract to reflect the proper person signing it, but apparently that is not good enough for the underwriters to be satisfied. So it is possible (if not likely) that the closing will have to wait until we can sign a NEW contract reflecting exactly the same thing as the old one and then we can proceed... UGH!!! Meanwhile we have spent a bunch of money and made plans to start work on the house and have the utilities all transferred to our names on Thursday... but we may not close until Friday or even Monday (if then)! I will just be glad when we get the thing closed so that we can get everything back on track!
More later....
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Joey Being Joey
Joey also rocked my world again today and I am only realizing it more now that I have had time to slip into my more reflective mode this evening... How blessed I am to have these two fantastic children in my life! Joey's insatiable curiosity and optimism about her world is contagious and something that I am blessed to be exposed to. Every day is a now milestone as she learns and loves so very well!
The part that really matters!
To think there are those who would try to tell me that there is something more important than this in life! There isn't anything in this world that matters more to me than my children and just taking Ian out in the back yard today and seeing his wonder at the world made me realize what really matters! For all of the pain and misery that has been happening in my family of origin lately over possesions and greed I am truly saddened for my father and two of my sisters because they don't seem to realize that God has gifted us with a family and with relationships that shoud matter so much more than power or money or anything else in life... My two children are the world to me and they matter more than anthing else. With them, I can conquer anything... without them, I am nothing! God has blessed me richly and has totally altered my world in just over two short years. By the way, Ian rolled over yesterday for the first time... Another milestone!
Friday, August 3, 2007
Family, The Farm, and The Future
Yesterday was the auction of my mother's farm... It was incredibly painful to see it sold to the highest bidder. My mother's wishes were to keep that farm in the family and keep it running as a whole cohesive unit. But, things change and people turn out to be something other than you thought they were and the wishes of people who precede us in death are not always followed. As a result, the farm is now gone, it has been sold to multiple buyers and now all that is left are the memories of times spent there enjoying the serenity and beauty of God's creation. I have some wonderful pictures taken down through the years and I have great memories growing up enjoying that farm with family and friends. I suppose that is all I will have now. But, someday, perhaps, it will be enough to have those memories.
Last night was strange for me. I watched the bidding wars and I watched the people with far more money than me take action to buy something for themselves and I was saddened not only by the loss of the farm, but by the further breakdown of my family of origin... and also by the fact that these people who were jockeying for a piece of property have nothing more significant to attach their lives to than a mere ownership of "things". I have been forced by the actions of others to distance myself from most of my family of origin and that is a tragedy. I have felt guilty, at times, over my eagerness to turn my back and walk away from the family. However, the more I witness of the greed and the downright insanity of this group of people, I am feeling less and less guilty and more and more at peace with the inevitable seperation from these people. I will still continue to pray for them to find a relationship with Christ. But, at the same time, I will allow them the space needed to live their own lives and will expect the same in return. We will be moving in a few short weeks, and I still have not decided if I want to give them my forwarding address or not. I sense that doing so would only be more painful down the road... But, I continue to wonder if perhaps I should leave the ball in their court by sharing that information with them... Maybe I will wait a while after we move and continue to see if perhaps God leads me to share that information with them at some later date.
All the while, I wonder, why life has to be so complicated. Were it not for people and relationships with them, life would clearly be more simple. But then again, if we never took risks, we would never know true joy and peace either... Hmm... Another paradox. Seems there are more paradoxes than absolutes in life for me these days.
Once again, I have to say that I value more than words can describe the absolute love I feel for my wife and my children... In the midst of it all. God has blessed me more than I could ever deserve with these who are my reason for living!
Last night was strange for me. I watched the bidding wars and I watched the people with far more money than me take action to buy something for themselves and I was saddened not only by the loss of the farm, but by the further breakdown of my family of origin... and also by the fact that these people who were jockeying for a piece of property have nothing more significant to attach their lives to than a mere ownership of "things". I have been forced by the actions of others to distance myself from most of my family of origin and that is a tragedy. I have felt guilty, at times, over my eagerness to turn my back and walk away from the family. However, the more I witness of the greed and the downright insanity of this group of people, I am feeling less and less guilty and more and more at peace with the inevitable seperation from these people. I will still continue to pray for them to find a relationship with Christ. But, at the same time, I will allow them the space needed to live their own lives and will expect the same in return. We will be moving in a few short weeks, and I still have not decided if I want to give them my forwarding address or not. I sense that doing so would only be more painful down the road... But, I continue to wonder if perhaps I should leave the ball in their court by sharing that information with them... Maybe I will wait a while after we move and continue to see if perhaps God leads me to share that information with them at some later date.
All the while, I wonder, why life has to be so complicated. Were it not for people and relationships with them, life would clearly be more simple. But then again, if we never took risks, we would never know true joy and peace either... Hmm... Another paradox. Seems there are more paradoxes than absolutes in life for me these days.
Once again, I have to say that I value more than words can describe the absolute love I feel for my wife and my children... In the midst of it all. God has blessed me more than I could ever deserve with these who are my reason for living!
Sunday, July 29, 2007
My Family of Origin
My oh my, how we can be faced with sudden reminders of the dysfunction from whence we came. My sister from Alabama called me today and then I called my father to try to glean some understanding of just how messed up things are in my family since my mother's death.
I think those conversations ended with more questions than answers. I was reminded by those conversations just how rare a commodity the truth is in the family of my birth. People often create for themselves false constructs of reality in order to justify their feelings or to feel better about the way they have lived their lives and it amazes me just how much they actually believe these lies that they tell themselves.
Of course, we all want to feel better about ourselves than we deserve to feel. But, I never really believed that people would do some of the things this group of people have done in order to justify actions that they have taken. It is appalling and it brings up the pain again for those of us who are trying to stand for truth. Ultimately, I know there is justice (at least in the eternal sense). But, my struggle is with how I can have peace in the interim while I watch people get away with blatant disregard for truth. It proves to me that this world really is under the control of darkness and makes me hunger at the deepest of levels for the day when righteousness and truth finally do prevail. While there is nearly immeasurable pain at times for me in all of this junk... At many levels, it does make me yearn for God's kingdom to come in all of its fullness... I echo the sentiment of the saints down through the ages... Amen, Come Lord Jesus!
I think those conversations ended with more questions than answers. I was reminded by those conversations just how rare a commodity the truth is in the family of my birth. People often create for themselves false constructs of reality in order to justify their feelings or to feel better about the way they have lived their lives and it amazes me just how much they actually believe these lies that they tell themselves.
Of course, we all want to feel better about ourselves than we deserve to feel. But, I never really believed that people would do some of the things this group of people have done in order to justify actions that they have taken. It is appalling and it brings up the pain again for those of us who are trying to stand for truth. Ultimately, I know there is justice (at least in the eternal sense). But, my struggle is with how I can have peace in the interim while I watch people get away with blatant disregard for truth. It proves to me that this world really is under the control of darkness and makes me hunger at the deepest of levels for the day when righteousness and truth finally do prevail. While there is nearly immeasurable pain at times for me in all of this junk... At many levels, it does make me yearn for God's kingdom to come in all of its fullness... I echo the sentiment of the saints down through the ages... Amen, Come Lord Jesus!
Monday, July 23, 2007
More thoughts on change...
I have been thinking a great deal lately about change. Just some random thoughts here more for my own reflection than any one else's benefit...Of course, life is filled with changes from the very beginning of our lives we see change all around us in more ways than can be counted. At some point, it seems, we come to an understanding of some level of change that is barely discernable so much so that we view our lives as static. Our "change tolerance threshold" becomes greater and greater as we mature. But then, there are those moments where we do exede our "normal" level of change in life and things get out of balance. It isn't that they will never be back in balance again, but these times can threaten to overwhelm us if we are not centered in our thinking and in our faith.
Here's my own situation:
I had come to the place a little over 15 months ago that I was comfortable with the pace of life and had not been beyond my "change tolerance threshold". Life was going along fairly smoothly. Joey was approaching a year old. Marriage was something that had become quite comfortable. Ministry was going well. All was right with the world. Then in April my mother died. Ooops... the pace of change picked up. Then, the family of origin started to fall apart at the seams... Getting faster. Then the legal wrangling started within the family over greed and self-centeredness picked up and there were added demands on my time for these issues... Even faster down the track. Then Ian was born, then new ministry opportunities started coming along... And it got pretty intense around here. Through it all, I have been able to function. However, the level of effectiveness I was having in life dropped far below the level I am satisfied with.
Today, I find myself in a different place than I have been over these past many months. While there was a time a few months ago, I was quite possibly teetering on the edge of depression, I have pulled back from that precarious place and have felt the pervasive sense of melancholy that I wrote about yesterday. This may actually be a constructive emotion in some ways. I may even have bcome more thoughtful and reflective than I have ever been and I am beginning to think that this is a good thing. I also sense a return to a more satisfied feeling about life in general. My faith, my wife, and my children have truly remained a great source of strength and hope in my life through all of these many months. However, Jenny pointed out to me a couple of weeks ago something that I needed to hear. That being that I have not been my usual happy self in recent months. I think it has all been related to this sense of change and loss regarding my family of origin following my mother's death. No, I do not think it has been hopelessness or pessimism or anything like that. Primarily, I think it is just learning to get back to the place of tolerance of change. Of course, as I begin a new ministry in a new community, I will certainly expereince a great deal of change. However, I truly believe that this is proving to be a return to DIFFERENT change than I have been surrounded with since Mom died. I sense that the change that we are facing as we move to Wood River, is a more positive change and is something that will prove energizing and life-giving rather than the draining and negative change of these past 15 or so months.
Of course, there are uncertainties surrounding any new circumstance in life. But, there are new friendships to be formed, old friendships to be celebrated and affirmed, and new experiences to stretch and challenge me in healthy ways. Maybe my optimism and hope really are returning to me at the right moment in time... Just another affirmation of the truth that God is orchestrating things in ways that will be nourishing to my soul and glorifying to Him! Life is good: that much has never stopped being true... But the thing that is different now... I think it is simply that I can see again that it really is true.
Jenny and I also were able to find a few moments tonight for a reflective, thoughtful, deep discussion about these things and that few moments were very life-giving for me. Yet another reminder to me just how very much I love this woman!
I think I will be alright... No... I know I will! God Has blessed me beyond measure and FAR more than I deserve!
Here's my own situation:
I had come to the place a little over 15 months ago that I was comfortable with the pace of life and had not been beyond my "change tolerance threshold". Life was going along fairly smoothly. Joey was approaching a year old. Marriage was something that had become quite comfortable. Ministry was going well. All was right with the world. Then in April my mother died. Ooops... the pace of change picked up. Then, the family of origin started to fall apart at the seams... Getting faster. Then the legal wrangling started within the family over greed and self-centeredness picked up and there were added demands on my time for these issues... Even faster down the track. Then Ian was born, then new ministry opportunities started coming along... And it got pretty intense around here. Through it all, I have been able to function. However, the level of effectiveness I was having in life dropped far below the level I am satisfied with.
Today, I find myself in a different place than I have been over these past many months. While there was a time a few months ago, I was quite possibly teetering on the edge of depression, I have pulled back from that precarious place and have felt the pervasive sense of melancholy that I wrote about yesterday. This may actually be a constructive emotion in some ways. I may even have bcome more thoughtful and reflective than I have ever been and I am beginning to think that this is a good thing. I also sense a return to a more satisfied feeling about life in general. My faith, my wife, and my children have truly remained a great source of strength and hope in my life through all of these many months. However, Jenny pointed out to me a couple of weeks ago something that I needed to hear. That being that I have not been my usual happy self in recent months. I think it has all been related to this sense of change and loss regarding my family of origin following my mother's death. No, I do not think it has been hopelessness or pessimism or anything like that. Primarily, I think it is just learning to get back to the place of tolerance of change. Of course, as I begin a new ministry in a new community, I will certainly expereince a great deal of change. However, I truly believe that this is proving to be a return to DIFFERENT change than I have been surrounded with since Mom died. I sense that the change that we are facing as we move to Wood River, is a more positive change and is something that will prove energizing and life-giving rather than the draining and negative change of these past 15 or so months.
Of course, there are uncertainties surrounding any new circumstance in life. But, there are new friendships to be formed, old friendships to be celebrated and affirmed, and new experiences to stretch and challenge me in healthy ways. Maybe my optimism and hope really are returning to me at the right moment in time... Just another affirmation of the truth that God is orchestrating things in ways that will be nourishing to my soul and glorifying to Him! Life is good: that much has never stopped being true... But the thing that is different now... I think it is simply that I can see again that it really is true.
Jenny and I also were able to find a few moments tonight for a reflective, thoughtful, deep discussion about these things and that few moments were very life-giving for me. Yet another reminder to me just how very much I love this woman!
I think I will be alright... No... I know I will! God Has blessed me beyond measure and FAR more than I deserve!
things have changed a bit around here
Today was a bit of a strange day for me. Now that we have made our plans public regarding our move to Wood River, it just feels a bit strange as I go about my days in ministry. It is something akin to grieving the loss of a dear friend! I have truly loved my time here in Stonington even though it has not been without the occasional challenge. As I went today to see two of my shut-ins before they heard of my pending move to a new setting of ministry, it was difficult to realize that this decision to respond to God's leading in my life would cause pain to other people. It is a bit painful for me as well if I am honest about it. Strange how there is a balance and tension between opposing emotions even when it is something that God is clearly orchestrating. Wow, even as I write that, I see the irony in this as in all areas of life. In order to understand and appreciate one thing in life, the opposite must be lurking nearby... (Sounds very "Eastern"). But, it is no less true. Therein lies the bittersweet emotion of so much of my life of late. God is so very good to me and my family, but in the midst of all of that experience of goodness, I also sense a nearly all-consuming melancholy lurking just below the surface throughout most days. I have secured the prayer support of trusted friends and advisors and I am certain that the blessings of God will be sufficient in this new transition.
OK... enough philosopy... in other news. I talked to our realtor today. He called me to let me know that the whole house inspection on the new house is set for this coming Thursday morning at 11 am. I plan to be present for this as it will be helpful to know what the inspector finds if for no other reason than to plan and budget for potential repairs that may come down the road. My mortgage broker called me as well to let me know that all of our loan paperwork is in order and gave me the firm amount necessary for the down payment and other closing costs on the house on the 16th. Man, things are moving along!
Well, it is late... in fact it is already tomorrow... so bed is calling to me!
OK... enough philosopy... in other news. I talked to our realtor today. He called me to let me know that the whole house inspection on the new house is set for this coming Thursday morning at 11 am. I plan to be present for this as it will be helpful to know what the inspector finds if for no other reason than to plan and budget for potential repairs that may come down the road. My mortgage broker called me as well to let me know that all of our loan paperwork is in order and gave me the firm amount necessary for the down payment and other closing costs on the house on the 16th. Man, things are moving along!
Well, it is late... in fact it is already tomorrow... so bed is calling to me!
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Church Sign
they had my name on the sign at the church within 24 hours of our accepting the call to Wood River!
Much to report!
Now that we have informed our current church I can finally blog about our "vacation"... Yes, we were camping at Pere Marquette Stte park along the Illinois River in Grafton. But, the reason for our choice of destinations, was connected with our invitation to candidate for the position of Pastor of the First Baptist Church of Wood River, Illinois. Last Sunday, July 15, 2007. The Wood River Church extended a call to me which I accepted. We then spent the bulk of our time over the next few days looking at houses and we finally found the house we were looking for with the assistance of a wonderful realtor. We made an offer on the house and after some negotionation, we signed a contract on the house. We feel really good about it and it seems clear that God has been guiding our steps all along the way. It is bittersweet to be leaving our friends in Stonington... Over 11 years, they are not merely a church, but are indeed family! We will miss them greatly, but Wood River is not so far away that we cannot visit with them occasionally and they can certainly come to see us! I could blog much more than this, but there is still a great deal of sorting out of emotion and thought processes that needs to be done before I can put this all into words... until then, I will post a picture of the church sign in Wood River and a photo of what will be our new home.
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Vacation?
We are going to be going on vacation this next week and will be gone until the 20th of July. It should be a relaxing time, but then again, with all that is happening, it could be anything but relaxing. I am totally looking forward to spending the time with my wife and kids as we are camping at Pere Marquette State park and I am sure I will be postong pictures and expereinces both here and on my Flickr page for anyone who cares to look. I could come back from this trip with lots to say, or I could simply come back and resume business as usual around here. Either way, I am sure there will be reports after we return... or even a possible update during the trip if I can find an internet connection somewhere. We don't leave until Thursday the 12th, so I am sure I will post something before we go.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
When the cougar left home - News
When the cougar left home - News
I have been quoted in the paper again... you can read the article by clicking above. This goes back QUITE a while to my college days (20 years... MAN I am getting older!), but it was neat to talk to the reporter and then see my quotes in print again. And I have some renewed respect for the media as the quotes are even accurate! (And, yes, that is me in the photo... I actually had dark hair back then and plenty of it... here's the proof!)
I have been quoted in the paper again... you can read the article by clicking above. This goes back QUITE a while to my college days (20 years... MAN I am getting older!), but it was neat to talk to the reporter and then see my quotes in print again. And I have some renewed respect for the media as the quotes are even accurate! (And, yes, that is me in the photo... I actually had dark hair back then and plenty of it... here's the proof!)
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
is that a smile?
yesterday, Ian looked almost as if he was actually smiling and I had the camera handy to capture it. He is a contented baby, but seems so somber compared to Joey when she was little. Amazing to me how very different two children can be when they share the same gene pool.
on her tricycle
Joey and I were out in the yard last evening and after playing on the swing and walking all over the yard, we got out this tricycle that was given to us several months ago. Her feet wouldn't really reach the pedals, but she sure thought she was riding it as I pushed her from behind... I have so much fun when we have our play times like that... What exactly did I do for fun before these kids were born? Can life really get any better?
Friday, June 29, 2007
just getting started
I am finally entering the world of Blogging. I see some definite advantage to sharing my thoughts this way with anyone who cares to read them. Plus, I can go back myself and see what I have thought and recorded in the future... That's all for now, Once I figure out what I am wanting to say I will post more!
High Mileage
some days I feel just like this old truck... I will miss being able to go down to the farm and see it... I miss having the family of origin intact, but most of all, I am missing mom. We are facing some major life events right now in our family and I miss sharing these things with my mom.
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